bowtrunckle: (*LOL*)
[personal profile] bowtrunckle
Today I discovered a bunch of things:

I have a “scooper” (and it has nothing to do with ice cream or anything remotely edible or yummy).  When bored and angry, kid #2 will dig into his dirty diaper and use whatever’s in there as body paint.  Gross no matter which way you slice it but especially gag inducing when done while strapped into the car seat … the car seat that we’ll be using on our two-day dive to Toronto starting on Thursday.  Yes, OMG, we are insane: two adults + 2 kids under the age of 4 + 2 days in the car + a poopy car seat + nice, hot weather to bake everything in the car = survival of the fittest (and probably the growth of some never-before-seen bacteria).  Wish us luck.  O_O *scared face*

Jumping around in the dark with sweaty women (and one man) is hilarious.  So a friend and I are doing evening Zumba classes.  I can see the whole reluctance to shake what you got in front of a bunch of strangers, so I was down with the dark studio and the disco lights.  But, seriously, I couldn’t see the instructor except for her florescent yellow halter top (which just looked like a disembodied halter top jerking and undulating in the wind), which made it really hard to learn what I was supposed to be doing with anything that wasn’t wrapped in glow-y yellow.  So instead of just standing there squinting, I just sort of made up my own Zumba. Freaking hilarious (and fun).  It was like clubbing for people too old to go clubbing, but even better because apparently nobody could see whatever it was I was doing.  Next time I’ll wear all black. ;)

Grocery shopping 15 minutes before closing is my new adrenaline kick.  So after Zumba I didn’t want to go home because it meant I’d have to help put the kids to bed (all you parents out there know exactly what I’m talking about).  And being that I have this really annoying compunction to always feel like I’m “getting something done”, I went grocery shopping.  Two stores, 5 bags of groceries (uugggh, I have to buy weeks worth of special gluten/casein-free stuff for our trip, so not only are we hauling a toilet car seat, we’re going to have a mini grocery store along for the ride, whee!) in 25 minutes.  OMG.  Amazing.  Most of you parents or people who haul little people shopping probably already know this, but this rivals the revelation that the best parking spots are not the parking spots closest to store, but the parking spots closest to the cart corals (and that’s why you see parents zipping around the parking lot, road raging and aiming for the spots next to the cart corals).  Sprint-skipping Walking around the empty store with a million stock people to help me find stuff (why the milk drink boxes are next to the baby biscuits in the baking aisle eludes me) without a cart full of kid, I felt like I was in some ridiculously stupid musical singing, “Lalalalaaaaa, no cart!  NO CART!  Tralalalaaa.  Freeeeeedom!” And, wow, people are so nice when I’m the only one there to pay attention to (or maybe it was because I was wearing spandex *snort*).

Needless to say there was a woman there with an active little girl who looked to be T’s age checking out in front of me at one of the stores.  The little girl wasn’t misbehaving, but she was just very curious and busy and all over the place.  And I had this weird out-of-body experience where I was like, “That’s what I look like with the kids at the grocery store.”  Because, you know, when you’re the one focused on keeping one kid from shimmying out of the cart restraints/running out the door and supervising the other kid who must help unload all contents of the cart (which always includes things in glass jars and eggs *facepalm*), while trying to scan your card, while talking to the check-out person, you’re not really paying attention to what you might look like.  It was similar to when you see a really weird picture of yourself and you’re like, “Wha--?  That’s not me.  Wait, is that me?!  OMG.  I didn’t know I could look like … um … that.”  So, yeah, shopping at night, just me and my sweaty spandex self, is going to me my new thing.  Nothing like living large!  ;)

Finally, this awesome fanart of space!impala by Sunday779 (there's more in their deviantart gallery):

space_impala_by_sunday779-d5ezrau


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