Computer Crack!fic
Jun. 2nd, 2007 11:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bowtrunckleHave you ever wanted to read the crackiest of crack fic? Thanks to a thing called the internet *waves happy flag* there is such a tool to satisfy any crack craving (note my ridiculous drabble featuring Arnold the Pigmy Puff and the Giant Squid --emmamoonpotter1, I told you I'd "write" it! *dances*). ashlesha17pointed out this nifty drabble generator that pretty much had me hyperventilating into a bag. Add an adverb here, an adjective there, stick in your two main characters and voila instant ficage! Should we be worried that a computer can write fanfiction?
To Greedily Guzzle
Sam and Dean were celebrating a spaztic Valentine's Day together. Sam had cooked a dippy dinner and they ate on a roll of toilet paper by candlelight.
"My darling," Dean said, stroking Sam's thumb, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Sam. "It is but a desperate token of my silly love."
Sam opened the box. Inside was a smelly Moby Dick’s bong! He gazed at it sloppily. Then he gazed at Dean sloppily. "It's gigantic," Sam said. "Come here and let me guzzle you."
Just then, a bumpy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like week-old liver boiled and served with cabbage. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a dark voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Dean read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other peevishly as the crone cackled some more. Sam's left nostril began to tremble. Then Dean shrugged, pulled out a garden hose, and hit the crone on her big toe. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Sam said and kissed Dean hungrily. "This is a smug Valentine's Day!"
They giggily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they guzzled each other all night long.
emmamoonpotter1, I told you I'd "write" it! *dances*). ashlesha17pointed out this nifty drabble generator that pretty much had me hyperventilating into a bag. Add an adverb here, an adjective there, stick in your two main characters and voila instant ficage! Should we be worried that a computer can write fanfiction?To Greedily Guzzle
Sam and Dean were celebrating a spaztic Valentine's Day together. Sam had cooked a dippy dinner and they ate on a roll of toilet paper by candlelight.
"My darling," Dean said, stroking Sam's thumb, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Sam. "It is but a desperate token of my silly love."
Sam opened the box. Inside was a smelly Moby Dick’s bong! He gazed at it sloppily. Then he gazed at Dean sloppily. "It's gigantic," Sam said. "Come here and let me guzzle you."
Just then, a bumpy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like week-old liver boiled and served with cabbage. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a dark voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Dean read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other peevishly as the crone cackled some more. Sam's left nostril began to tremble. Then Dean shrugged, pulled out a garden hose, and hit the crone on her big toe. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Sam said and kissed Dean hungrily. "This is a smug Valentine's Day!"
They giggily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they guzzled each other all night long.
The Hippogriff Prince
The Giant Squid was walking through a big meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a wooden little Hippogriff lying under a tree.
The Giant Squid skipped over to see the dear thing and was slimey to find that he was hurt! A house elf had pierced his fluffy little left eyebrow and he whimpered dorkily with the pain.
"My smelly little friend," The Giant Squid said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the house elf, as swiftly as he could. The Hippogriff cried out and The Giant Squid's heart ached, like Flitch's underpants. "You'll be all right," The Giant Squid whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Arnold the Pigmy Puff and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Arnold the Pigmy Puff up in his arms, The Giant Squid carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, The Giant Squid nursed Arnold the Pigmy Puff, cleaning his left eyebrow and feeding him The Restricted Section-brand Hippogriff chow.
On the eighth night, Arnold the Pigmy Puff climbed into bed with The Giant Squid. He burrowed under the covers and happily squealed The Giant Squid's bellybutton. It made The Giant Squid giggle and he cuddled close to Arnold the Pigmy Puff, stroking his elbow and singing secretively to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, The Giant Squid hurried home so he could curl up with Arnold the Pigmy Puff. It gave him a fat feeling whenever Arnold the Pigmy Puff squealed his bellybutton.
Then one night, Arnold the Pigmy Puff looked up at The Giant Squid and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a wet prince."
The Giant Squid screamed hungrily, he was so surprised. How could a Hippogriff talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Arnold the Pigmy Puff said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," The Giant Squid said and kissed Arnold the Pigmy Puff on his elbow. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a wet prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Arnold the Pigmy Puff," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" The Giant Squid said.
"See?" Arnold the Pigmy Puff said and showed The Giant Squid the scar from the house elf on his left eyebrow. Then he kissed The Giant Squid and they tumbled in the Chamber of Secrets and did a lot of very quiet things, some of them involving a pink hedge.
"I love you," Arnold the Pigmy Puff said when they were done. The Giant Squid clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Arnold the Pigmy Puff had stashed away.
And if Arnold the Pigmy Puff didn't know about The Giant Squid's visits to the Hippogriff sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
The Giant Squid was walking through a big meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a wooden little Hippogriff lying under a tree.
The Giant Squid skipped over to see the dear thing and was slimey to find that he was hurt! A house elf had pierced his fluffy little left eyebrow and he whimpered dorkily with the pain.
"My smelly little friend," The Giant Squid said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the house elf, as swiftly as he could. The Hippogriff cried out and The Giant Squid's heart ached, like Flitch's underpants. "You'll be all right," The Giant Squid whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Arnold the Pigmy Puff and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Arnold the Pigmy Puff up in his arms, The Giant Squid carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, The Giant Squid nursed Arnold the Pigmy Puff, cleaning his left eyebrow and feeding him The Restricted Section-brand Hippogriff chow.
On the eighth night, Arnold the Pigmy Puff climbed into bed with The Giant Squid. He burrowed under the covers and happily squealed The Giant Squid's bellybutton. It made The Giant Squid giggle and he cuddled close to Arnold the Pigmy Puff, stroking his elbow and singing secretively to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, The Giant Squid hurried home so he could curl up with Arnold the Pigmy Puff. It gave him a fat feeling whenever Arnold the Pigmy Puff squealed his bellybutton.
Then one night, Arnold the Pigmy Puff looked up at The Giant Squid and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a wet prince."
The Giant Squid screamed hungrily, he was so surprised. How could a Hippogriff talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Arnold the Pigmy Puff said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," The Giant Squid said and kissed Arnold the Pigmy Puff on his elbow. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a wet prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Arnold the Pigmy Puff," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" The Giant Squid said.
"See?" Arnold the Pigmy Puff said and showed The Giant Squid the scar from the house elf on his left eyebrow. Then he kissed The Giant Squid and they tumbled in the Chamber of Secrets and did a lot of very quiet things, some of them involving a pink hedge.
"I love you," Arnold the Pigmy Puff said when they were done. The Giant Squid clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Arnold the Pigmy Puff had stashed away.
And if Arnold the Pigmy Puff didn't know about The Giant Squid's visits to the Hippogriff sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 01:48 am (UTC)I love them both! LOL
I need to do the drabble generator. I really do.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 06:06 pm (UTC)Yes, you definitely need to play with the drabble-a-tor. I dare you to come up with a totally cracked-out-of-the-universe-over-the-top drabble. *grins* Oo, I'm such an enabler of bad things.
I also need a "doitdoitdoit" icon. Perhaps I will ask Sally to make me one. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 03:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 06:15 pm (UTC)There was even a discovery moment!
And there was a situation set up and complication as well. Too bad I didn't know about the drabble-a-tor earlier, my class stories could've been much better. ;)
BTW, I finally read the comments from our last workshopping. I think Scott's be getting progressively more "honest" (which is a good thing). I had some "this doesn't work for me" bits that I'll be sure to change. You know, I might just keep playing with those characters - I think they're going to be given a make over and transplanted into my summer story. :) And how are you progression on your original idea(s)?
no subject
Date: 2007-06-04 10:55 pm (UTC)I agree, I think he did get "honest" but that's good. I would have loved to have him give me a Simon type moment of "Honey, hang up your pencil" just so I knew if I should even pursue this. Ah well. Actually, did you read any of the author notes in the end of These Be My Words? There's a page where she speaks of critics and why we all should write. Because we have permission. I like that.
You SHOULD stick with those two. You've got a great story idea - for a larger story, too. I think you could grow that into bigger things. Please just tell me you'll put Gabe back in his puffy letter apron again?!
My summer story ideas...I'll send them to you. They need brainstorming. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-06-05 06:05 am (UTC)*dies laughing* I think he'd be struck speechless.
I would have loved to have him give me a Simon type moment of "Honey, hang up your pencil" just so I knew if I should even pursue this.
He'd never say that to you because it's not true! Of course you should persue this. And if you don't I will nag you forever and continually send you gigantic pieces of calorie-laden chocolate cake in the mail. For real. I will do it. *waves cookbook around*
Please just tell me you'll put Gabe back in his puffy letter apron again?!
Hee, his "help me help you" apron? OK, I have a soft spot for smart, geeky boys who have unfortunate parttime jobs. :)
Send me your ideas! Or we can brainstorm in person whenever. :) I have to carve out some time to do some research on my stuff before I move forward. *rolls up sleeves* It looks like it's time to really get cracking on this now that class is over! Whoot!